Permanent Vacation

Today, I got to go play with my family at a local park. There is this Splash Pad located in this particular park. A Splash Pad is basically a place to play in the water, without having to get in a pool. It's actually quite fun.

That's not my point. I got to watch my son play today. He actually played this time! It was so much fun getting to watch him run over and over again through these water mist rings. They were about the only thing he felt comfortable playing in for any length of time.

Anyway, made me wish I didn't have to work. That I could just spend time with my family more. Unfortunately, that can't happen. Grrr. Oh well. That's life.

On Growing Up

So I am thirty-one as of yesterday. The first question my wife asked was: Do you feel older?
Not really, you know? Although she did find a couple of white hairs on my chest. And how does that make me feel? Truth be told, I don't know.

See, here's the thing. I complain a lot about getting older, but I still don't really feel like a grown-up. I should. I know that I should. And sometimes I guess I do. Depends, I suppose, who I am talking to. I do have a tendency to refer to people more than a couple of years younger to me as "kids." But I still don't feel like an adult. Why?

I bet if I were to get over that, to start feeling grown-up, I might actually start to act like one once in awhile. Sure would help me be a more effective leader in my home. I just don't know if I'm ready to cross that threshold all the way. I guess I figure once both feet on on the ADULT side of the door, there's no going back. Just call me Peter Pan, I guess.

There are moments in life where you get to catch a glimpse of God's hand at work. We, my family and I, have recently been privy to one such occasion.

You know, I've been going through a season of doubt. Not necessarily faith destroying, going back to your old lifestyle kind of doubts, but just those little ones, that eat away at your joy.
I don't make a lot of money, if one gauges by American standards. In comparison to the majority of the world, I'm rich. In America, we make below the poverty line. What's that tell you about our society?

Anyway, as the man of the house, it's my responsibility to see to it that things get done. (Or so I thought.) We've had some issues come up, some unforeseen, some we should have been prepared for, that have drained us financially. There are things that need to be done that we just haven't had the money for.

Like our air conditioning breaking. They wanted $1,400 in cash up front to fix it. Who has that kind of money lying around? But God provided.

First, He provided through my co-workers, who bought us a window unit. We put that in our babies room on Thursday. On Friday, God provided two more window units. And then, on Saturday, we got a letter in the mail that had money with it. A lot of money.

And see, here I had been crying out to God, wondering how we were going to get all this stuff done. And He showed up. Will the money take care of everything? No. But it's a start. And He has proven, once again, that's He's faithful.

Plus, He's teaching me how to be a good steward of the money He does give us. I'm thankful for that.

There's a lot more I could say, but I'm just going to have to end right now on this.

God is good, all the time. He's always at work around us...even when we can't see what He's doing. Maybe now my eyes will be a little more open to the blessings He bestows.

God is good!

Let me just tell you...God is good. I mean, just last night I was bemoaning the unfairness of things, and now...He went and did something amazing. Okay, so I still don't have central heat and air, but my co-workers bought my family a window unit. With the help of a good friend, we got it installed this evening. And now at least my babies can sleep in a cooler room.

It was actually pretty cool how it happened. I didn't even see it coming. My boss came back to where I work, asked me to step outside for a moment. I thought I was in trouble! When I stepped outside, I saw that they had purchased me a little cooling unit, and a pool for my kids. It really touched me, you know? I was humbled and grateful all in one fell swoop.
God is good.
I just thought I'd let you know.

And So It Begins...
I've attempted and aborted so many journals in my life, it's safe to say this one won't last long. Perhaps this is a passing fancy, perhaps not. What makes me think I've got anything worth while to say? Why should I take up any amount of space here in this cybervoid? Do I have anything to offer? Any insights to share?

These are questions I find myself asking as I attempt to begin. Maybe these questions will be answered. Maybe they won't. Maybe others will read it...maybe they won't. What form this blog shall take, I do not know. Will it be a spiritual journey? A blog listing my day to day events? Who knows? I can say that, with me, my day to day events are often tied up in the spiritual.

Like today. Our air conditioning is out. My truck won't start. And we've no money to spare to fix either one. So I sit here, sweating, staying up far too late because it's really too hot to sleep. And I'm wondering...what is God trying to teach me through this?

It's funny really, in it's own way. See, I'm the guy who gets to give folks "spiritual" advice. You know, like reminding folks that they should count it all joy when they encounter trials of all kinds. I tell my friend, who is constantly struggling with God, that he shouldn't be angry at God for not giving him what he wants. And here am I, out some modern conveniences, and I'm wondering what I did to deserve this. You know, like...am I being punished or something? Is God really trying to teach me some sort of perserverance, or is He showing me my blatant lack of faith?
Both?

I don't know. Something you should know. I ask lots of questions, and am often unable to answer them. If that sort of introspective writing strikes your fancy, well, then you've come to the right place. Sometimes, I get insights. Sometimes I just spin my wheels, having no clue about what's going on.

And this is my life. Here I will be honest, or at least as honest as I allow myself to be. Sometimes we even deceive ourselves. And you get to see me muddle through things. Isn't that exciting? Ha!

I welcome your insights, your encouragements, if you have any. If, by some small chance, something I say or am going through resonates with you, let me know. Maybe if I see that my posts are benefiting someone, I'll continue. Instead of worrying about wasting space.

Are you ready for the ride?