I went to a Life Group on Wednesday night. We were talking about trials and what they mean, how we survive them, and all of that stuff. One of the verses we covered was 2 Peter 1:3-9.
"3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."
The part that really snagged my attention was the last bit. I know that lately I haven't been making every effort to increase these. I feel like I have been being ineffective and unproductive.
So, according to verse nine, I've nearsighted, blind, and I've forgotten about Christ's sacrifice. Wow.
I mean, that's pretty hard-core, but it's true. Whenever we neglect or forget or get too busy or caught up in our lives to bother to try to add these things to our faith, we've forgotten what our Lord and Savior did for us. I guess Easter is as good a time as any to be reminded.
One of the reasons I'm thankful for moving up here is a potential revitalization of my relationship with the Lord. I've been struggling, you know? Been fighting with the Lord about "Me Time." My lunch breaks in College Stations have largely been time spent goofing off, reading comic books at Hastings or surfing the Web at the library or reading books not edifying to my walk with the Lord. Here in Decatur, there is no Hastings, no comic book shops. There's a library, but for the time being, I bet I'm not eligible for a card. So I have to actually slow down and take a minute to meet with my Lord. After all, what else can I do?
I think God brought me up here to slow me down. To take me away from distractions. Granted, part of the time I've been house hunting. But that search has been largely fruitless so far. So God has been teaching me some things:
Humility-
He humbled me the other night when He reminded me that I haven't been remembering Him. When I confessed this and vowed to do better, He talked to me about some other pride issues I was having. One was this blog. I think part of the reason I start to blog is so someone will post about how clever or smart or even how insightfully spiritual I am. As you can see, I don't get many comments. Maybe that's because nobody's reading. Maybe it's because God's trying to say, "Hey, guess what? Life isn't about you. It's supposed to be about me."
And also He humbled me in another area. I briefly wondered how long it would take me to become a leader of one of these Life Groups if we were to join this particular church. God showed me I might have moved up to quickly in leadership at Living Hope. It was still too much about me, and not so much about Him. "Look at me, I can lead a Hope Group. Aren't I an amazing teacher?" Except I'm not so amazing. Watching this fellow lead at the Life Group, I realized how far I needed to go. This guy used his pastor's notes, asked the pastor's questions. And there was a great discussion. I was edified. It wasn't about dissecting the Word. It was about how can we use the Word to be closer to Christ, to be conformed in His image.
I think about how I was bound and determined not to use Butch's notes. Not because they weren't good, but because I thought it would be better to strike out on my own. I rationalized that we were using the Bible, so it didn't matter. And that's not poor logic. But what's wrong with revisiting the sermon, striving to apply it even more to our lives? Why didn't I study the sermon on my own even? I surely would have grown more, I think, had I done that.
And He reminded me that I hadn't done a good job being transparent. Sure I said I'd struggled to my brothers and sisters, but I don't think I really shared to what extent. I was too busy being "super leader guy." I had to be strong, not admit that maybe I wasn't ready for the mantle. Let's face it. I got saved in '02. I'm a five year old Christian. I may not be a baby anymore, but I'm surely not old enough yet. God had to show me that when I was ready to listen. So He's taken us away where we can start over. Because I couldn't admit to our church family that I wasn't ready. I was too prideful. So...any of you Living Hopers that read this:
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for being self-sufficient. I'm sorry for breaking my covenant with you by not being faithful in my quiet time, faithful in my pursuit to grow closer to the Lord. I'm sorry for being rebellious and not confessing sin to you. I'm sorry for being a poor example, a sloppy leader, and an overall knucklehead. Please find it in your hearts to forgive me.
Patience and dependence-
This whole home hunting thing has been driving me nuts. I want my family up here soon. And I want to know how it's going to work out. God is showing me that I need to rely on Him and I need to quit trying to figure it out. He has moved us up here. He already has a place in mind. I just need to remain actively seeking out where, but also I need to leave it in His hands and not be anxious about where it's going to be and when it's going to come about. The time I've been spending fretting over I should have been meeting with Him, seeking His counsel and His wisdom and His peace.
Thank You, Lord, for the reminders. Thank You for Your love, and Your patience with me.
Thank You Lord, for Easter, what it signifies. Without it, none of what You have been showing me would be possible at all.
JC
Friday, April 06, 2007
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Barnes and Nobles by Way of Bedford and Baristas
Last night I decided I'd go hang out at Barnes and Nobles after I got off work. No problem, right? I mean, Sarah had given me pretty good directions after all. Armed with these, I left Sue's house a little after eight feeling sure within 15 minutes I'd be comfortably perusing books of all kinds. Boy, was I wrong.
Things were going pretty well at first. I had got onto Glenview like Sarah had told me. I was headed for what she said was either Grapevine Highway or Highway 26. Well, I passed a street called Boulevard 26, and I thought to myself, "This could be it." However, since I wasn't sure, I continued onward with the idea that if I didn't run into the right road soon, I would turn back. I didn't do that.
I actually found the mall. I stopped off at Sears and picked me up a much needed beard trimmer. Then, I figured since I went under 820 to get to the mall, I'd just stay on the frontage road, and it would take me back toward where the Barnes and Nobles was, since Sarah had said that I would be going under 820 to get to it.
Now, back in College Station, this mentality would be suitable. If you ride along 6, you will eventually get to the street exit that you need. This way of thinking proved to be my undoing. Little did I realize that when I had went under 820, I had also went under 121. It was this road that I rode alongside.
I drove along for awhile, then a little longer, and a little while longer, and I began to wonder why I hadn't started to at least see exits for streets that I recognized. I had seen a couple of "Now Entering" city signs, but I figured since I was on the other side of a highway in the Fort Worth area, that this was normal. It wasn't until I saw a sign for an exit leading towards the D/FW airport that I realized I had made a serious blunder. Now, for those of you who may know the Dallas/Ft Worth area, you may have been encouraged by such a recognizable landmark. I, however, have no idea where the airport is in conjuction with where I wanted to be. I had no map. I had no idea how to even get back to 820. (I had seen signs on the frontage road saying essentially "This way to 121." I thought that it was just one of those things when highways get called different names because they merge for awhile. Like 287 and 81, for example. In my defense, I did think it odd that I didn't see any 820 signs.)
So what did I do? I did what any self respecting coffee drinker would do. I stopped off at Starbucks to ask for directions. This is the transcript of that encounter.
Barista: "Hi, how are you?"
Me: "Great, thanks."
Barista: "How can I help you?"
Me: "Well, I'm the guy you're going to laugh at later. I'm lost. Can I get a tall order of directions, no whip cream?"
When I asked him where I was, he looked at me somewhat blankly, (I imagine he was trying not to laugh) and said,
"Bedford."
Well, that didn't tell me much, but I didn't want to press my luck so I didn't ask, "And where is that, exactly?"
I was still actually pretty fortunate. The barista lived in Haltom City, so he was able to direct me back in that direction. However....
See, I usually have this impeccable sense of direction. You know, east from west, north from south. Well. I got a little confused on the way back. I got to 820 just fine. I even found a street that I recognized. I took that exit, still determined to find Barnes and Nobles. I figured I would just take Rufe Snow back to Glenview, and I'd head back toward Boulevard 26. No problem. Except that I should have gone back over 820, but instead turned right at the exit. In my defense, I argued that I got into this mess by going under 820...when I got on to 121 which took me to 380, I went under it. So...in my mind, going over 820 would put me going in the wrong dirrection from Glenview. I was wrong.
A few miles down the road, I figured I should have hit Glenview by now. So I pick up the cell and call Sarah.
"Does Rufe Snow intersect with Bear Creek BEFORE it hits Glenview, or am I going in the wrong direction?"
"Where are you?"
"I wish I knew."
Needless to say, I turned around, went all the way back to 380, crossed it, and found my way to Glenview. It was about 9:45. I decided I would find Barnes and Nobles if it killed me.
I got to Boulevard 26, I went under 820 and I saw the Office Depot, just like Sarah said I would. I became excited. I turned right, just like she said. I kept going down this street looking for Barnes and Nobles on the left. I passed all kinds of cool stuff, but I didn't see the Barnes and Nobles. Finally, I crossed under a couple of roads. Know what they were? 820 and 121. AAAAAAHHHH! There was the mall where I had taken the wrong turn an hour or so ago. Was I stuck in the twilight zone? This time, I followed the impulse I should have followed to begin with. I turned back around and went the way I had come. I called Sarah.
"Was I supposed to turn left or right in front of the Office Depot?"
"Where are you?"
"I see a Bennigans, but no Barnes and Nobles."
"You are on the right street. Barnes and Nobles is across from Bennigans."
Okay...except I didn't see it. I passed by this shopping center on the right, but I couldn't make out any of the stores. I turned around, still on the phone...
"I don't see the Barnes and Nobles."
"It's in the shopping center."
"Is it hidden?"
"Oh yeah. Did I forget to mention that?"
Five minutes later I was inhaling the delightful aroma of books and coffee. Barnes and Nobles. Almost Heaven. If I would have heard a Hallelujah chorus, and seen a bright light, I might not have been surprised. I may not have ever been to this particular store before, but I sure felt at home.
So, it took me almost two hours to get there. How long did it take me to get home? Fifteen minutes, because I went back exactly the way that I came. Thank God for good directions. :)
Things were going pretty well at first. I had got onto Glenview like Sarah had told me. I was headed for what she said was either Grapevine Highway or Highway 26. Well, I passed a street called Boulevard 26, and I thought to myself, "This could be it." However, since I wasn't sure, I continued onward with the idea that if I didn't run into the right road soon, I would turn back. I didn't do that.
I actually found the mall. I stopped off at Sears and picked me up a much needed beard trimmer. Then, I figured since I went under 820 to get to the mall, I'd just stay on the frontage road, and it would take me back toward where the Barnes and Nobles was, since Sarah had said that I would be going under 820 to get to it.
Now, back in College Station, this mentality would be suitable. If you ride along 6, you will eventually get to the street exit that you need. This way of thinking proved to be my undoing. Little did I realize that when I had went under 820, I had also went under 121. It was this road that I rode alongside.
I drove along for awhile, then a little longer, and a little while longer, and I began to wonder why I hadn't started to at least see exits for streets that I recognized. I had seen a couple of "Now Entering" city signs, but I figured since I was on the other side of a highway in the Fort Worth area, that this was normal. It wasn't until I saw a sign for an exit leading towards the D/FW airport that I realized I had made a serious blunder. Now, for those of you who may know the Dallas/Ft Worth area, you may have been encouraged by such a recognizable landmark. I, however, have no idea where the airport is in conjuction with where I wanted to be. I had no map. I had no idea how to even get back to 820. (I had seen signs on the frontage road saying essentially "This way to 121." I thought that it was just one of those things when highways get called different names because they merge for awhile. Like 287 and 81, for example. In my defense, I did think it odd that I didn't see any 820 signs.)
So what did I do? I did what any self respecting coffee drinker would do. I stopped off at Starbucks to ask for directions. This is the transcript of that encounter.
Barista: "Hi, how are you?"
Me: "Great, thanks."
Barista: "How can I help you?"
Me: "Well, I'm the guy you're going to laugh at later. I'm lost. Can I get a tall order of directions, no whip cream?"
When I asked him where I was, he looked at me somewhat blankly, (I imagine he was trying not to laugh) and said,
"Bedford."
Well, that didn't tell me much, but I didn't want to press my luck so I didn't ask, "And where is that, exactly?"
I was still actually pretty fortunate. The barista lived in Haltom City, so he was able to direct me back in that direction. However....
See, I usually have this impeccable sense of direction. You know, east from west, north from south. Well. I got a little confused on the way back. I got to 820 just fine. I even found a street that I recognized. I took that exit, still determined to find Barnes and Nobles. I figured I would just take Rufe Snow back to Glenview, and I'd head back toward Boulevard 26. No problem. Except that I should have gone back over 820, but instead turned right at the exit. In my defense, I argued that I got into this mess by going under 820...when I got on to 121 which took me to 380, I went under it. So...in my mind, going over 820 would put me going in the wrong dirrection from Glenview. I was wrong.
A few miles down the road, I figured I should have hit Glenview by now. So I pick up the cell and call Sarah.
"Does Rufe Snow intersect with Bear Creek BEFORE it hits Glenview, or am I going in the wrong direction?"
"Where are you?"
"I wish I knew."
Needless to say, I turned around, went all the way back to 380, crossed it, and found my way to Glenview. It was about 9:45. I decided I would find Barnes and Nobles if it killed me.
I got to Boulevard 26, I went under 820 and I saw the Office Depot, just like Sarah said I would. I became excited. I turned right, just like she said. I kept going down this street looking for Barnes and Nobles on the left. I passed all kinds of cool stuff, but I didn't see the Barnes and Nobles. Finally, I crossed under a couple of roads. Know what they were? 820 and 121. AAAAAAHHHH! There was the mall where I had taken the wrong turn an hour or so ago. Was I stuck in the twilight zone? This time, I followed the impulse I should have followed to begin with. I turned back around and went the way I had come. I called Sarah.
"Was I supposed to turn left or right in front of the Office Depot?"
"Where are you?"
"I see a Bennigans, but no Barnes and Nobles."
"You are on the right street. Barnes and Nobles is across from Bennigans."
Okay...except I didn't see it. I passed by this shopping center on the right, but I couldn't make out any of the stores. I turned around, still on the phone...
"I don't see the Barnes and Nobles."
"It's in the shopping center."
"Is it hidden?"
"Oh yeah. Did I forget to mention that?"
Five minutes later I was inhaling the delightful aroma of books and coffee. Barnes and Nobles. Almost Heaven. If I would have heard a Hallelujah chorus, and seen a bright light, I might not have been surprised. I may not have ever been to this particular store before, but I sure felt at home.
So, it took me almost two hours to get there. How long did it take me to get home? Fifteen minutes, because I went back exactly the way that I came. Thank God for good directions. :)
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Decatur Day Two
Who would have thought that I'd be able to blog at work? Apparently this branch has internet access. Some sites we can't access, like my juno account. But I can read blogs and I can post blogs. Yippee!
So things are going pretty well. I like the people I work with. I don't know if they are all believers, but they are all pretty much church-goers. Some are actually pretty active. Finding a church here may not be that hard after all.
The branch is pretty low-key. Not nearly as busy as College Station. If you need an example of low-key, I just had a lady come in with some rolled coin. At my old branc, we'd either have to run it through the coin machine, or hand count it. There is no coin machine here, so I asked if I needed to count it. They said, "Nope, if it's rolled, it's good." I said, "What if they're short?" 'It'll come out in the wash, " was the response. See what I mean?
The customers are primarly down home country folk, which is just fine by me.
The view is beautiful. One of the things I was concerned about with the move was whether or not I'd like the area. Not the people, or the town, but the environment. And it's gorgeous. From the parking lot of the branch, I see the rolling hills dotted with trees. It isn't a flat, non-tree prairie land. Praise the Lord!!!
Speaking of praising the Lord, we sold our trailer. We haven't worked out the details yet, so I'm not saying any more than that, but still...that's half our battle right there. Now we just have to find a place to live. That's a big battle, so prayers are coveted.
All in all...it's going to be a good thing, moving up here. I've already seen opportunities to minister. I don't know how those will play out yet, but I know they are there.
That's all for now. I could ramble, but why would you want to read ramblings?
So things are going pretty well. I like the people I work with. I don't know if they are all believers, but they are all pretty much church-goers. Some are actually pretty active. Finding a church here may not be that hard after all.
The branch is pretty low-key. Not nearly as busy as College Station. If you need an example of low-key, I just had a lady come in with some rolled coin. At my old branc, we'd either have to run it through the coin machine, or hand count it. There is no coin machine here, so I asked if I needed to count it. They said, "Nope, if it's rolled, it's good." I said, "What if they're short?" 'It'll come out in the wash, " was the response. See what I mean?
The customers are primarly down home country folk, which is just fine by me.
The view is beautiful. One of the things I was concerned about with the move was whether or not I'd like the area. Not the people, or the town, but the environment. And it's gorgeous. From the parking lot of the branch, I see the rolling hills dotted with trees. It isn't a flat, non-tree prairie land. Praise the Lord!!!
Speaking of praising the Lord, we sold our trailer. We haven't worked out the details yet, so I'm not saying any more than that, but still...that's half our battle right there. Now we just have to find a place to live. That's a big battle, so prayers are coveted.
All in all...it's going to be a good thing, moving up here. I've already seen opportunities to minister. I don't know how those will play out yet, but I know they are there.
That's all for now. I could ramble, but why would you want to read ramblings?
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