Reminders

I went to a Life Group on Wednesday night. We were talking about trials and what they mean, how we survive them, and all of that stuff. One of the verses we covered was 2 Peter 1:3-9.

"3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."

The part that really snagged my attention was the last bit. I know that lately I haven't been making every effort to increase these. I feel like I have been being ineffective and unproductive.
So, according to verse nine, I've nearsighted, blind, and I've forgotten about Christ's sacrifice. Wow.

I mean, that's pretty hard-core, but it's true. Whenever we neglect or forget or get too busy or caught up in our lives to bother to try to add these things to our faith, we've forgotten what our Lord and Savior did for us. I guess Easter is as good a time as any to be reminded.

One of the reasons I'm thankful for moving up here is a potential revitalization of my relationship with the Lord. I've been struggling, you know? Been fighting with the Lord about "Me Time." My lunch breaks in College Stations have largely been time spent goofing off, reading comic books at Hastings or surfing the Web at the library or reading books not edifying to my walk with the Lord. Here in Decatur, there is no Hastings, no comic book shops. There's a library, but for the time being, I bet I'm not eligible for a card. So I have to actually slow down and take a minute to meet with my Lord. After all, what else can I do?

I think God brought me up here to slow me down. To take me away from distractions. Granted, part of the time I've been house hunting. But that search has been largely fruitless so far. So God has been teaching me some things:

Humility-
He humbled me the other night when He reminded me that I haven't been remembering Him. When I confessed this and vowed to do better, He talked to me about some other pride issues I was having. One was this blog. I think part of the reason I start to blog is so someone will post about how clever or smart or even how insightfully spiritual I am. As you can see, I don't get many comments. Maybe that's because nobody's reading. Maybe it's because God's trying to say, "Hey, guess what? Life isn't about you. It's supposed to be about me."

And also He humbled me in another area. I briefly wondered how long it would take me to become a leader of one of these Life Groups if we were to join this particular church. God showed me I might have moved up to quickly in leadership at Living Hope. It was still too much about me, and not so much about Him. "Look at me, I can lead a Hope Group. Aren't I an amazing teacher?" Except I'm not so amazing. Watching this fellow lead at the Life Group, I realized how far I needed to go. This guy used his pastor's notes, asked the pastor's questions. And there was a great discussion. I was edified. It wasn't about dissecting the Word. It was about how can we use the Word to be closer to Christ, to be conformed in His image.

I think about how I was bound and determined not to use Butch's notes. Not because they weren't good, but because I thought it would be better to strike out on my own. I rationalized that we were using the Bible, so it didn't matter. And that's not poor logic. But what's wrong with revisiting the sermon, striving to apply it even more to our lives? Why didn't I study the sermon on my own even? I surely would have grown more, I think, had I done that.

And He reminded me that I hadn't done a good job being transparent. Sure I said I'd struggled to my brothers and sisters, but I don't think I really shared to what extent. I was too busy being "super leader guy." I had to be strong, not admit that maybe I wasn't ready for the mantle. Let's face it. I got saved in '02. I'm a five year old Christian. I may not be a baby anymore, but I'm surely not old enough yet. God had to show me that when I was ready to listen. So He's taken us away where we can start over. Because I couldn't admit to our church family that I wasn't ready. I was too prideful. So...any of you Living Hopers that read this:
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for being self-sufficient. I'm sorry for breaking my covenant with you by not being faithful in my quiet time, faithful in my pursuit to grow closer to the Lord. I'm sorry for being rebellious and not confessing sin to you. I'm sorry for being a poor example, a sloppy leader, and an overall knucklehead. Please find it in your hearts to forgive me.

Patience and dependence-
This whole home hunting thing has been driving me nuts. I want my family up here soon. And I want to know how it's going to work out. God is showing me that I need to rely on Him and I need to quit trying to figure it out. He has moved us up here. He already has a place in mind. I just need to remain actively seeking out where, but also I need to leave it in His hands and not be anxious about where it's going to be and when it's going to come about. The time I've been spending fretting over I should have been meeting with Him, seeking His counsel and His wisdom and His peace.

Thank You, Lord, for the reminders. Thank You for Your love, and Your patience with me.

Thank You Lord, for Easter, what it signifies. Without it, none of what You have been showing me would be possible at all.
JC