JoCa's Journey

Social Justice -Biblically Defined

2010-12-16T09:31:00.001-08:00

What is social justice? And why do some Christians agree with it, while other do not? These are questions I would like to take a little time to deal with.

First of all, what is social justice? I believe it is ensuring that the underprivileged and needy are treated fairly. Some believe it means the removal of inequalities among people. And I guess that is the way it is largely understood.

This is where I stand. I think there are several verses in the Bible that contend we are supposed to fight for the rights and the needs of the poor and underpriviledged. Psalm 82:3-4 says that we should "Defend the cause of the weak and the fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." That, to me, is the root of social justice.

Read through Psalm 72 and Proverbs 31:8-9. Both of these passages equate justice and righteousness with caring for the poor and needy, with the oppressed. These are traits of good kings and leaders. Why would we disdain it?

In Jeremiah 22:16-17 God says through the prophet that defending the cause of the poor and needy is what it means to know Him. In correlation, James 1:27 says that true religion is, in part, caring for the orphan and the widows. How can we say that God is not concerned with justice for those in need?

Proverbs 14:21 "He who despises his neighbor sins, BUT blessed is he who is kind to the needy." The transitional but indicates by not being generous to someone, you are essentially despising them....which is sin. My footnotes say that: "Sharing food (Proverbs 28:8), lending money, (also 28:8) and DEFENDING the rights (Proverbs 31:9) are ways to show kindness. Such a person honors God (Proverbs 21:31) We see here that if we do not defend the rights of our poor neighbor , (and Jesus' definition of neighbor isn't limited to the guy who lives on your street...look up the story of the Good Samaritan if you don't believe me) we are hating him, which is sin in God's eyes.

Let's take a closer look at Proverbs 21:31. It says, "He who oppresses the poor shows CONTEMPT FOR THEIR MAKER, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God." Other verses you can cross reference are Proverbs 17:5 and Proverbs 22:6. It seems pretty clear that not only does God want us to care for, to seek justice for, the poor and oppressed, but also to do otherwise is a slap in the face to our Creator.

Some people think this is an idea limited to the Old Testament. Is Christ concerned about these things? If we read Matthew 25:31-46, we see that He is. He said, "Whatever you do (or do not do) for those who are hungry, thirsty, without clothing, sick and imprisoned, you do (or do not do) for Him.

You may ask how a Christian can be devoted to social justice. I ask, how could we do otherwise?

Deer Hunting

2010-09-16T11:22:00.001-07:00

One morning, my five year old son comes into the bathroom while I'm getting ready for work. For some reason, he thinks it's a great idea to have a conversation with me while I'm shaving. I don't know why. At any rate, he sat down on the porcelain throne, his usual spot for thes early morning chats, and asks:

"Dad, when are you going to take me deer hunting?"

Fortunately, I didn't cut myself when I sort of jumped in surprise. See, I have never, ever, never mentioned hunting deer to my son. I've never participated in deer hunting. So the question was really out of left field. I said the first thing that popped into my mind.

"Dude, I don't even own a gun."

"Can't you buy one?"

He had me there. It is conceivable that I could, should I desire to do so, buy a rifle. But the truth is, I have no desire to purchase a gun of any sort. And so I said:

"Daddy, doesn't even like guns, buddy."

Silence ensued and I continued to shave while he mulled this over in his mind. Finally, he asked, brightly:

"Can we go fishing?"

"You bet we can buddy. I just gotta get some gear."

After that, we talked about the merits of his existing Spider-man pole versus the prospect of buying a new one when we could. He's content with the Spider-man rod, for now. But I've been mulling over this in my head for awhile now.

Here's the thing. Someday, he may really want to go hunting.

We live in a small Texas town, and that's just what you do, I guess. Apparently, he became interested because a friend of his told my son that his daddy was taking him.

Hunting has never been something I was into. I am sure there are lots of reasons for this. First of all, I am a geek galore. Secondly, I didn't exactly have a father around who encouraged that type of activity. But mostly because I'm kind of a softy and just don't like killing things.

I've tried it. I'm actually a pretty fair shot when it comes to practicing. And when I was younger, I shot a pheasant with my pellet gun under the tutelage of my mom's boyfriend at the time. Even had some experience with the "back road hunt." That's where you load up in a pickup at night and drive around on back roads shooting whatever moves.

As a matter of fact, my aversion to killing animals probably stems from one such occasion. My buddy and I found a rabbit one night. I think I had a scatter shot kind of gun, and I hit it, but didn't kill it. We had to go put it out of its misery. Turns out, it was a momma bunny, and I was tortured by the possibility we had inadvertently killed some baby bunnies as mommy would no longer be providing milk.

So yeah...hunting is definitely not my thing. But what if my son really likes it? What if, living in this small town environment, it becomes something he really wants to do? Plus, there's that whole peer pressure thing. I'd hate for my son to become "uncool" because his daddy don't hunt.

Right now, my son and I are pretty cool. He's five years old and loves super heroes. I'm thirty-five and love them too. We are pals...buddies even. I don't want to lose that. What I want, more than almost anything, is to not suck as a dad. I don't want to become irrelevant. Is that wrong?

I know that someday, if my son gets into that whole thing, somebody will take him hunting. And whoever that is, my son will think he's pretty dang cool. Am I wrong to not want my son finding father figures in somebody else? Or at any rate, in someone who instills the kind of values in him that are contrary to what I am trying desperately to instill. After all, it's my responsibility to make sure the boy loves Jesus. Right?

And that makes me think about God. He became flesh so we could relate to Him. Catch that? He became one of us, not because He didn't understand us, but because He wanted us to know Him better.

So what do you think? Should I start investing in camo and deer corn even though the thought of shooting Bambi's mom freaks me out? If so...somebody's gonna have to come along and show me the basics. Or maybe my son and I will just figure it out together.

Judge Not?

2010-09-16T11:08:00.000-07:00

“Judge not, lest ye be judged.” Man don’t we love to throw this verse out whenever we’ve done something wrong and someone calls us on it? It’s like we think it’s a “get out of jail free” card or something. But I think if we look at in context, we realize it isn’t saying we can’t be called out for sinning. The passage in question is in Matthew 7:1-5. Come take a look with me.

First of all, what does Jesus mean when He says, "Judge"? The most basic definition is "to form an opinion of" (American Heritage Dictionary). But essentially, it means to declare guilty or to condemn. You could paraphrase it by saying, "Condemn not, or you too will be condemned."

Earlier on in the Sermon on the Mount (of which this passage is a part of) we see Jesus say, "Forgive so that your Father will forgive you." (Matthew 6:14) The same concept is found in this section. Jesus is saying that if we choose to condemn people, then by the same standards we too will be condemn. Maybe by God, maybe by other people.

Why is this a problem? It shows a lack of grace. Romans 3:23 says that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." None of us are perfect. We all stumble and fall. We make mistakes. And when we condemn others for sin...we are passing judgment. Judgment is something only God, who is perfect in every way, is worthy of dispensing.

That's why Jesus goes on to say what He says about the sawdust and the plank. Do you realize that the sins we hate in others are the ones we struggle with most mightily? We can't help with someone's speck when we really can't even see past our plank. Jesus says that those who try are hypocrites.

But, as I said before, we like to use this verse to have folks lay off, right? That's not His point. Jesus said we need to remove the plank before we HELP with the sawdust.

Let's be clear. Scripture is very straightforward about helping one another avoid the entanglements of sin. Galatians 6:1 is a great example. It says, "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently." Notice a key word in the text...GENTLY.

So what's my point? I'm getting to it. I think removing a plank from your eye is a very humbling experience. Something that can only be done by the grace of God. When you experience this, you know what it's like. You can gently, and lovingly, help your fellow believer through the removal of his or her speck.

It isn't done by considering them a horrible person. How can you form an opinion about somebody when you've been guilty of the same thing, perhaps even more so than your friend? It's done by gently and loving reminding each other that the sin we encounter is not God's plan for our lives.

So the next time you are about to throw this verse out hoping someone can't hold you accountable for something you might have done, remember, if they're your brother or sister in Christ, they do have a right. And, if you are that brother or sister who's doing the encouraging...make sure you do it in humbleness and love.

Incredible I am Not

2010-08-23T10:05:00.001-07:00

Ever feel like Bob Parr? He's Mr. Incredible's secret identity. For awhile, Bob was forced to abandon the superhero life, and work as an insurance guy. All the while, he would have rather been out saving the world.

Well now, I have never had superpowers. And I've never saved the world before. But there are times when I feel like I should be doing something else. Something...important. Something BIG!

Don't get me wrong. Marriage and fatherhood are great adventures in and of themselves. Not dissatisfied with that aspect of my life at all. I love my wife, and I adore my kids. It's the career thing that bogs me down sometimes.

Again...I am not complaining. I have a great job. I love my boss, and I'm not just saying this because he could read this if he wanted. I work with a great group of people. But is it what I'm MEANT to do?

That's what I'm wondering. I wonder sometimes if I should write more, as if I have something of substance to say. (I'm not sure that I do.) I wonder if I should go into the ministry, but I don't do well enough as a "civilian" Christian. What makes me think I could be a leader?

I think most of this is because I didn't wake up one day and say, "Gee, I want to be a banker." And if you know me, it really isn't me. It's what I do, right now. But it isn't who I am. I think I'm still searching for that.

But also because I feel I have talent. (I could be wrong.) I feel like I am gifted in certain areas, and I'm not utilizing them much at present. I am afraid that these talents, like muscles that never see use, will atrophy. I really don't want that to happen.

And so I write. Conveying thoughts to you, the general public, for no reason other than that I have to say something. I have to exercise the writing muscle. I wish I did it more.

American Idolatry

2010-08-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

(Disclaimer: This post may step on somebody's toes. Sorry in advance. Not intentionally trying to toe step, but I feel this needs to be said.)

I was conversing today with a friend via twitter. We were talking about idolatry. And I have come to a conclusion. It is my belief that a majority of American Christians have a least one unrealized idols in their lives.

Now an idol can be anything that we put before, or love more than, God. For me, it's been coffee or RPGs or text messaging or Facebook or any number of other things. God is gracious and refining me at this point in my life. I am sure before it is said and done, He will reveal many more.

Now idols don't have to be bad things. They are bad things because they take undue importance in our lives. One such idol I believe plagues many American Christians is Patriotism. Yes...sometimes we love our country more than we love God.

How can this be so? When someone does something you feel is anti-American, how do you react? I mean even if it's as simple as believing in gun-control to something as radical as Islamic radicals wanting to destroy our country. How do you react? If it isn't in a loving, non-negative manner...you are guilty of idolatry.

I will elaborate. God says throughout several Scriptures (and for brevity's sake I am not listing them at this point) that if you love Him, you will obey His commands. Right? And throughout the New Testament, we urged to love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-45), use our tongues for good and not for evil (James 3:3-11 among others), and various other commands demanding our respect and love for others.

If we choose to curse men, to hate them, to wish them ill-will, then we are not acting in accordance with Scripture. If the reason we do these things is because they either disagree with us politically, or even are set on destroying our country, we are saying we love our country more than our Lord.

I have been bothered by this for sometime, and have just been unable to articulate it. I could perhaps go on, but time restrains me. I would be most interested in hearing your thoughts.

Leesha Harvey- Coal Train (Original)

2010-07-09T09:38:00.000-07:00

Phil. 2:3

2010-05-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

Isn’t it funny how God can use things you encounter in life to teach you about yourself? Every now and again, He uses something I see, hear, or read to give me an “ah-ha” kind of moment. Well, He struck again.

Last night I tweeted about seeing two individuals looking as if they were about to start duking it out at any moment. Though no punches were thrown, there was lots of verbal sparring. I remember silent praying, “Please don’t let one of them be the person I’m delivering to.” And when no one answered the door to the apartment I was bringing pizza to, I was definitely afraid one was.

That being said, I had to stand there and listen to one of the individuals belittle and berate the other one. Now, I didn’t see the incident that kicked off the whole thing. By what I overheard I ascertained one of the guys kicked at the other guy’s dog. Who knows what may have brought that about? But the dog owner’s reaction was, in my opinion, overblown.

Here’s what got me. The dog’s owner, whom we will from now on refer to as “white collar guy” belittled and berated the individual whom we will refer to as “blue collar guy”. (These tags will become clear momentarily.) I mean, white collar guy was rude! He called blue collar guy a multitude of names, a number of which I will not repeat. But among them were names issued contemptuously, like “blue collar” and “redneck”.

During this conversation, the white collar guy insulted blue collar’s intelligence, his income, and his home stability. I never really heard what blue collar was saying, because white collar kept shouting him down. Or maybe he was trying to maintain some modicum of decorum. I don’t know.

And I remember thinking that one should never treat another human being that way. No one should ever talk to another person the way white collar was talking to blue collar. It made me sad, partially because I’m a little “white collar” myself, and I felt bad that this guy was misrepresenting.

Here’s where God showed up and tweaked my nose. You see, I tell myself that I would never talk to anybody in such a manner. But God revealed to me that, sometimes, white collar guy resides in my head.

We all have our prejudices. None of them are really okay. Not for a believer anyway. And I have to confess that there is a part of me that looks down on the rednecks of the world. Not because I am better (and I certainly don’t make more money) but because I think differently than they do.

So yeah, though I like to believe I don’t use choice words in my head in reference to others, I have been known to mutter “idiot” or “moron” to myself, or via inner dialogue about people who don’t see things exactly the way I do. And I got to see, first hand, how ugly that really looks.
Let this be an apology as well as a confession. I am deeply sorry. Sorry for considering myself better than anyone for any reason. Sorry that I would be condescending, even if it’s only in my thoughts. Philippians 2:3 says: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” I need to work on that. Forgive me while He develops this in me?

Thoughts On Open Carry

2010-05-28T09:43:00.000-07:00

So about this whole "Open Carry" thing here in Texas. I find myself strangely ambivalent. Which is odd coming from such a hard core liberal as myself. (Just kidding. I am neither hard core nor completely liberal when it comes to politics.) I am, however, a strange juxtaposition of gun control and gun rights. Which, I suppose, explains the ambivalence.

Let me explain. First of all, I think because the Constitution says we have the right to bear arms, we have...the right bear arms. But I think where I disagree with some gun right proponents is what constitutes as an arm we have the right to bear. Confused yet? I'll expound.

The word arm, in context to our conversation and as defined by just about any dictionary, means weapon. Now a weapon can be anything from a gun to a knife, a pistol to a missile. And though you may disagree with me, I hardly think that our forefathers had nukes in mind when they wrote the 2nd Amendment. I also don't think they believed we would never advance in weaponry beyond what was available in the 17th century.

So the first question I can think of when it comes to this topic is: Where do we draw the line at what is a reasonable weapon for a common citizen to have readily available? Though I am sure Uzis are extremely cool, I don't think it's a necessary addition to Joe Blow's already extensive collection.

Second of all, let's discuss what a right really is. Again, the dictionary defines it as something due to a person or governmental body by law, tradition, or by nature. But I would ask this: Is everyone really due the ability to own a weapon?

For example, let's say we have a paranoid schizophrenic. Now, when said individual takes his prescribed medication, said individual is possibly a productive member of society. But would you really want to put a gun in the hands of such an individual during a paranoid episode? I wouldn't.

By and large, I say we should keep guns out of the hands of dangerous people. You know, like murderers, mobsters, and morons. But that's just me. Seriously, we have to admit that there are some citizens of our nation who would be better off without access, and we, too, would be better off without them having access.

Now, this of course begs the question: Who decides who has the right? And this is a fair question. One that cannot be easily answered. Someone will always somehow feel slighted.

But now...open carry...still not generally opposed to it. And here's why. You have to be licensed to carry. That means that someone, somewhere, developed a testing program that qualifies people to be responsible gun owners/carriers. Also, since we already have concealed handgun licenses at this point anyway, what's the difference between carrying where we can see, and carrying when we can't. Their still carrying!

And that, I'm afraid, is my two cents.

New Year, No Debt, But Same Old Problems

2010-02-05T09:25:00.000-08:00

Well it has definitely been a long time since I deemed it necessary to blog. Sometimes I don't feel like I have a whole lot of worth to say. Today's really no different, but whether it is of worth or not, I shall spew forth verbiage.

So the income tax return is in. Which means we get to pay off our credit card and medical bill debt. Definitely a good thing. The down side to that is that we will not have much left over for savings or for play. But at least we are starting out the New Year with a clean slate. If only we can keep it that way.

See, here's the deal. Sarah is no longer babysitting for my co-worker as of this month, which is a loss in income of about $400. The debt paid off amounts to a monthly payment of around $100 to $150. So, still a bit of a shortage there.

Why did she quit? Well...see the whole reason Sarah stays home in the first place is to be there for our home, and our family. When she was sitting, it seemed like she had to push back giving our kids the attention they craved for the little one she was watching. This is not what we had in mind.

You know, I realize that a family has to make sacrifices in order to make ends meet sometimes. But I am not willing to sacrifice my children, their security, and well-being, for a few extra dollars per month.

But! Again, we are free of debt. The only "frivolous" expense we have are the cell phones, and that is our only line of communication. We have no cable, no internet. We need to crack down on the "bubble gum" expenses. Other than that, we try very hard to live within our means.

We do have a house payment. But it's like $750 a month. Even if we weren't buying a house, we'd be paying around that much for rent anyway.

So why am I writing? I don't know. Getting it off my chest. Trying to write to exercise those muscle. You know...same old same old.

The truth is...I am a little nervous. But God is working on me...and I know that He provides. He has never failed us. We have never gone without. It will be interesting to see if we can do this without trusting in credit, but solely trusting in Him.

And I think that's why I am writing. For those of you who pray, pray with me, pray for me. Pray that I will trust God and allow Him to do amazing things. Pray that He brings opportunities our way, that He will make this a fruitful year for my job. (There are other reasons to pray this, but that is the subject of another post.)

Will you pray with us, for us? I hope you do! And I will try to be diligent in posting praise.

Why I Am Voting Obama

2008-10-03T09:36:00.001-07:00

Okay. So, for those of you who have been wondering about my recent status change...here is the blog that tells it all. Well, not all, but definitely a run-down. I would love any feed back you may have to offer.

Why I am Voting Obama

For quite some time I have struggled with matching up my theology and my political ideologies. And while I cannot say that the turmoil is completely ended, I can, however, admit to making some headway. Allow me, if you will, to elaborate.

I am a self-professed Christian, a follower of Christ, a disciple, if you will. Not that I am perfect in my pursuit of holiness and Christ-likeness, but the desire to be so is there. And part of this journey, this path I trod, is to vote how Jesus would want me to vote.

For a time, I lived in ignorance. And while it was not exactly bliss, at least I was not burdened with a need to know. Things have changed in the last couple of years.

I had been, not unlike some fellow evangelicals I have met, a one or two issue voter. By that I mean if the candidate were against one of two very important issues, I would, by default, never consider voting for them.

Pro-choice? No thank you! Legitimatize homosexual unions! Are you crazy? And so it would go. If a candidate embraced either of these two things, then it was my belief that no matter what else they stood for, I had to vote against them.

In fact, the first time I ever voted was in '04. I voted against Kerry. Now keep in mind that I am not saying that I voted for Bush, when this is, in truth, what I did. But, at the time, I was just voting for the current President to keep Kerry out of office.

Did I know much about Kerry? Nope. All I needed to know, I was told, was that he was for abortion and supported the gay agenda. By default, it was my Christian duty to vote against him. And so, as I said, I did.

But it bothered me. It bothered me a great deal. It was not because I disliked Bush. I did not, and I do not. It is because I voted in ignorance. I did not really either know or understand the issues at hand. I am not saying I understand them much more now.

I resolved that the next time I voted, it would be an educated vote, or I would not cast a ballot at all. I began to do research on candidates and issues. I looked at them from an open-minded perspective instead of from the mindset that if, say, the Democratic Party supported something, it must, therefore be bad.

The truth is, I began to see that I disagreed with a lot of the things the Republican Party stands for. I came to see that I disagreed with a little that the Democratic Party stood for. I began to say things such as: "I really respect his ideas, but because of his stance on such and such, I cannot abide to vote for him." I even took one of those ridiculous online match-up games where you picked where you stood on certain issues, and you got to see who lined up with you the most. And guess what. I lined up with Obama.

I have to admit, at the time, I laughed at myself. I resolved to investigate those issues a little more, because I did not really understand them. I mean, surely if I were lining up with left-wing Obama, I had to have misunderstood.

I began to read speeches instead of listening to sound bytes. When Obama gave his speech on racism, I was moved to tears. I told myself I still could not vote for him, but boy, I wish someone who I could vote for would pick up the torch.

I remained unconvinced for quite some time until I read Obama's acceptance speech for the Democratic Presidential nomination. He said something in the midst of his speech that clearly spoke to me. He said something to the effect that we may not agree abortion, but surely we could agree that we needed to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies. I agreed. He said, essentially, we may not agree on homosexual marriage, but surely we could agree that long-time partners should have the right to visit one another in a hospital where only family members were allowed. And I could not disagree with that either.

There is more to this all than that. I began to see that, by and large, the Republican Party does little to help the poor and downtrodden in our country. Their mindset is "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, lads!"

Before I ever read Obama's speeches, I found this to be true. I see glaringly a need to revise our healthcare system. I cannot help but notice that the poor and lower class struggle constantly financially. I have even been on the receiving end of a system not quite willing to help those who are even trying to help themselves.

I looked in Scripture for answers. Over and over again, Scripture commands and implores us to take care of the needy, the poor. It tells us to help the aliens, the widows, and the orphans. James even tells us that true religion consists in part in taking care of this lot.

So I became very conflicted. All of my Christian churchgoing life, I have been told that the Republicans, the Conservatives are the true Christians in our nation. So why were they neglecting the poor and needy? Why did my politics have to eschew one form of justice for another?

These and other questions I began to ask myself. At first, I just wished that there were a candidate who would embrace both sides of that coin. There is not. So what was I to do?

I had a discussion with a friend of mine who said we could not just look at these issues. We had to look at the whole shebang. And so…I have tried to do so.

The War in Iraq.

I was against it from the start. I was not comfortable with it even for the reasons that we were given, and when those reasons did not play out? Did we ever find WMD? But we derailed that country by our invasion. And so, we have spent the last few years fixing what we broke.

Alternate Energy.

Oil is not a renewable resource. Even without all of the politics involved…we will eventually run out. Would it not be more responsible to work on it while there is time? Do not our children deserve that courtesy?

Global Warming.

I do not necessarily agree that it is happening. I do, however, think that being good stewards of the planet God entrusted to us is not a bad thing.

Are there other issues? I am sure there are. The economy and all that this entails. Again, I am for the poor, so you should know by that where I stand.

Ladies and gentleman of the jury of my peers, I stand before you, convicted. I am voting for Obama. I am not leaning, nor am I pandering. If I can register to vote on time…I will cast my lot with him, for better or worse.

Another Year

2008-07-31T14:08:00.000-07:00

Another year of my life has come and gone. I am now thirty-three. How do I feel?

I had to take some time to think about that.

I don't feel any older than I did yesterday, though I have been noticing my body doesn't work the way that it once did.

I still don't feel like a grown-up...even though it's probably way past time that I should.

I don't regret my life up to this point. Let me clarify this. I do regret some decisions I have made in the past. But I know that some of those decisions have put me where I am now, and I would never trade my wife and my precious two children for a different life.

Would I love to have been a famous actor by now? Sure...but not at the expense of my family. Would I love to have written a best-seller? Absolutely! But not by having never know the love of my wonderful spouse and the adoration of my kiddos.

Do I like working two jobs to provide for my family? Nope. Especially because it takes me away from those I love. Is it worth it? Without question.

And that's where I am at. Like it, love it, or hate it. For better or worse.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Update 4 Those Who Care

2008-05-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

So here is the skinny on my life at this moment.

Sarah and I joined a church in Paradise, TX. (Funny, ain't it.) Sarah is getting baptised on June 8th, and we are getting involved in a small group.

Work is going well, I suppose. I currently work two jobs, but hopefully, once biz picks up at the bank, I'll be back down to one. And that could happen soon as the other PB has moved to a different branch, so it's just lil' o me.

I'm planning on doing a YouTube vid as soon as I can find the time to record something. Still not sure what all I want to do with it, but I imagine I will do vids of my poetry reading, some bible studies, and who knows what else.

I've got some writing projects simmering on the back burners. Working two jobs just gives me another excuse not to write, but I need to get over that eventually.

I just read the Scarlet Pimpernel. Very good book. Cleverly written. I'd do a review, but since it's a pretty old book, you'd find a better review somewhere else.

Sarah and I have been watching old 80's flicks. Might give some reviews on those. So far, we've watched 16 Candles and Pretty in Pink. (Yes, Sarah chose both.) I'm thinking we just might have a John Hughes marathon. Who knows?

Jack is beginning potty training, and Bella will be going to Pre-K next year. Kids grow crazy fast, don't they?

At any rate, that's a brief overlook of life right now. More forthcoming...perhaps.

:)

Prayer Answered

2008-04-15T09:36:00.000-07:00

You know, I guess it is good to read your own blog every once and again. I came across the post where I had started to go to the doctor again, and never said anything else about it. I guess I assumed either nobody is reading, which could still be true, or that anybody really interested in the goings on of me and my family would read Sarah's blog. But the fact remains, if I were just some random reader, I'd still be wondering if this poor guy ever found out what was wrong with him.

Well, I did. It turned out that I had a fairly large polyp in my colon. After going to the family doctor for a little while, he referred me to a GI doc. This is where I stopped last time, because the doctor didn't want to do the colonoscopy. This doctor, however said, "You want a colonoscopy? Okay." They scheduled it for the day after Christmas (which was good, still on 2007's insurance deductible.)

During the colonoscopy, the doc biopsied a piece of the polyp, and figured it would be no big deal. However, later on he was afraid that since it had lymphatic tissue in it, that it could have been lymphoma. They scheduled me for a full biopsy. They removed the polyp...no cancer.

So that's a praise. In the midst of my discouragement right now, here is a lifting up. A reminder that God can and does answer prayer. I've been pain-free (in my abdomen anyway) for going on three months now. In the Dr. House post, I had said I'd be content if I just knew what it was. But now I know, and it is gone!

And that's a good thing.

Monthly Update (heh)

2008-04-04T11:28:00.000-07:00

Howdy gang! Josh here telling how things are going down over here in Campbell-Land.

First of all, I want to apologize for not being able to respond to comments all the time. Again, I can view the blogs and comments from work, but I cannot comment on them. And since our only access to the Net is at the library, obviously time constraints exist.

Anyway...with the church search.

We will be taking the membership class at Grace Fellowship this Sunday. They are very similar to LH in many different ways. We'll even have to sign a membership covenant if we decide to join. I met with their small group pastor yesterday during lunch, and I believe our family shares their vision. So...after this weekend, we may know for sure where we will be plugging in. Please continue to pray.

Family updates...
Jack is potty training. As a matter of fact, he went all day Tuesday in undies ('cept for nap time) with NO ACCIDENTS!!! We're excited for him. And I'm excited for us. Once we get him out of diapers...hey, you all know those things aren't cheap. Bella is involved in helping brother go potty. She gets all excited. It's pretty funny...you'd almost think Jack was a puppy the way she carries on. "Do you need to go potty? Do you? Come on, let's go potty!"

Speaking of Bella...she's growing up fast. And she's as funny as ever. She told us the other day that we were "wrecking her brain". I guess we were confusing her or something. But she's doing well. We have our typical four year old moments...and remember, this one is VERY strong willed, but we're making it. Every time she says she hates us and wants a different family, she comes back later and loves on us. Yes...yes...our sweet Bella sounds like a teenager. *sigh*

Sarah is doing well. She'd like it better if the neighbors' animals didn't think our yard and carport wasn't a great place to do their business, but in light of eternity...

We've made some "friends" with the neighbors across the street. One family has a little boy who comes over and jumps with the kiddos. They're nice. And the wife of another couple has asked Sarah to watch their house when they go out of town...so that's cool.

Me? Doing pretty good. Still adjusting to the new role at work, trying to make my quota and all that. But that comes with the territory. It's hard to believe we moved away a year ago this month...well, at least, I did. It's crazy. It seems like forever, and not all that long at the same time.

At any rate, we miss you all. Keep commenting. I love to read them. Sarah says hello and so do the kiddos.

About Obama

2008-03-19T12:31:00.000-07:00

Don’t worry, true believers, I am not about to become an Obama-ite. I do, however, have very mixed feelings about this election and my current, so-called, political affliations.

It seems, as of late, I’ve become addicted to reading about the current election. And I have to say, reading through some forums and some comments on news websites, I have been appalled with the varying degrees of hatred evident upon them. Shocked, you could say.

And I wonder how conservatives, who often claim to be Christian, can speak with such venom dripping from their words. Have they not read Scripture? What happened to loving one’s neighbor, or even enemy? Isn’t that the message Christ gave us, at least in some respects? And yet...Obama...wow...if his political platform was not so far left leaning from mine, I would almost vote for him out of sheer pity and admiration.

I read the speech he gave the other day. And I was moved. You know, even if he couldn’t absolve himself from his relationship with his pastor...I feel like it took a lot of moxy to stand up there and not do so, even with the press and critics frothing at the mouth about it. He could have completely renounced the man in an attempt to save his political career...but he didn’t. I admire that, misguided though it may have been.

And his message? Even if you dislike the man, can you deny the truth of his speech? Isn’t race a huge problem that no one likes to look at? Don’t we need to stop fighting?

I think about the partisan culture we live in. We are so completely divided. And it is clear that even within parties, there is a huge divide. What is happening? How can we mend the rift? I am reminded of Ancient Rome that toppled because of decay on the inside instead of the barbarians on the wall.

Are we like that? Are we close to crumbling as a nation due to our lack of introspection? Due to our lack of unity? If ever there was a time for us to truly be the UNITED States...now is the time.

Obama...even if you lose, I hope someone takes up your torch and unites us somehow...before we divide along lines that can never be mended.

Seeking God: The Whys and Whats

2008-01-29T20:28:00.001-08:00

I've been contemplating the whole, "Seeking God" series for a bit now, wondering how I should continue. My main dilemma comes to this: Do I discuss the "how to" aspect first, or the "why"? Which is truly more important?
I considered doing the manual bit initially. Mainly because I have an idea of what I am going to say and how I want to present it. And also, I figured if you were seriously reading a blog titled "Seeking God", then maybe you already were, and didn't want to know why, but just how.

But isn't why just as important a question? Why should we seek God? Why do we? And yet, an even more relevant question remains to be uncovered. What? Exactly.
What does it mean to seek God? It's easy to sit here and recommend doing it, but what, exactly, does it entail? Is God lost? Why does He need to be found?
Let's define seek, shall we? American Heritage Dictionary defines it as such:
1. To try to locate or discover; search for.
2. To endeavor to obtain or reach
3. To go to or toward
4. To inquire for; request
5. To try; endeavor

But how do these definitions relate to seeking God? In order to answer this, let's take a look at Scripture.
Deuteronomy 4:29, which is the first reference to seeking God that I could find, goes like this:
"But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul."
So, if from there…which in context for the Israelites was in the middle of their sin and a captivity, applying to us as well…we will search for, endeavor to obtain, to go to or toward, inquire for God, we'll find Him if we look for Him with all that we are.

I liked the example the AHD used for number 3. It said, "Water seeks its own level." It goes to it. I think that is what seeking means in relation to God.
He isn't lost. And it isn't as if He hasn't told us over and over where He is so that we may know where to find Him. But we have to move toward Him, and away from the things that are crowding Him out of our lives.

Let's take a closer look at Deuteronomy 4:26-31.
This is a little speech Moses gave to the Israelites. He's telling them exactly what they'll do in the time to come. Once they got settled and secured in the Promise Land, they'd get lazy. They'd forget who got them where they were, why they were there, and all of that. They'd look around at their neighbors and think, "Hey, these guys have it pretty good. They don't have to follow a bunch of rules. They do want they want, when they want. Their gods are small, and portable, less demanding. Plus, I can see them, and understand them."

So then the Israelites would take their eyes off of God, and start pursuing those idols. And once that happened, they would lose the protection of the Lord. They'd be carted off, captured and enslaved. And then, when they were desperate and lost, when they could find no solace in the false gods they flirted with, they'd call out to the one True God, and He'd still be there, because that's just how He rolls.

I think that this is relative to our times. To us. We get so caught up in the idols of our days, what are neighbors are doing, what looks fun, and we lose sight of God. We get pulled away. We may have fun for awhile. Things may go better good, but when tragedy strikes, when life goes wrong, those idols won't help us anymore. When you are hurting and lost and torn, money doesn't satisfy. Material possessions just don't do the trick. But if we'll turn away from those things, and turn back to God, start going toward Him again, we'll find Him, and He'll lift us up.

That's why we should seek Him. Aside from the fact that Scripture tells us we should. We need God. Nothing else will ever satisfy the way He will. We are designed to be fulfilled by Him. There really is no substitute.
And that's why I'm writing this series. Because we...because I...need to start seeking God. And we, you and I, need to know how. We need to know what it looks like.

Seeking God: The Prelude

2008-01-15T22:42:00.000-08:00

“There are none who seek God, no not one.” That’s what we are told in Romans 3. And yet, we find ourselves over and over again doing just that very thing. And Scripture encourages us to do so. Where is the discrepancy? Is Scripture contradictory? I don’t think so. We just have to evaluate this in light of the whole Word of God.

Is it true that no one seeks God? Absolutely! If left to our own devices, we would rather find our own way. God shows us how very flawed we are. How often do we find ourselves hating those people who possess the traits we lack, and desire to have? On our own, we would rather find dark places to hide and grub through existence rather than be exposed for who we are by God’s light.

But is it not true also that people do seek God? Don’t we often begin quests to fill that awful hole inside of us? How can both be true?
The answer is simple. We cannot, or will not, seek God on our own. But we will begin to search when He calls us. And call us He does.

Jesus said Himself that no one can come to Him unless the Father calls them. (John 6:44) Paul told the Athenians that God gave men life and moved throughout history so that we would seek and find Him. (Acts 17: 24-27) And in Romans 1, Paul says God reveals Himself through creation so that none of us may have excuse.

The whole Bible is filled with passages of God reaching out toward man. We never initiate it. He does. And yet, He wants us to find Him. Or rather, He wants us to look.

It’s as if God has set out a trail of breadcrumbs for us. All we have to do is follow it, and we will see Him, hiding in plain sight. He wants us to seek Him, me…you.

Why? How? What does that even look like? All of those are perfectly understandable questions. And, I’m going to try to explain them as best as I’m able. I’m going to use the Bible and a little bit of logic. Psalm 63 will be my model. Please read it. Seek with me. Ask questions. Add insights. Travel with me on this pilgrimage to seek the One True God. He’s calling. Won’t you come?

Calling Dr. House

2007-09-19T12:10:00.000-07:00

I have another doctors appointment today for the stomach/abdomen stuff I've been dealing with on and off again for the past year and a half. The round of tests and things the first go around were largely inconclusive. The doctor, a specialist mind you, told me that basically my gut was clenching on me, but he couldn't tell me why. The medicine he prescribed didn't work, so I didn't go back.Now...I go again.

Hopefully I'm not looking at tons of money for tons of test to find nothing. Hopefully I'm not looking at months of waiting to see what is wrong with me. Hopefully I'll go in today, he'll poke around a little bit, and go, "Oh yeah, I've seen this before. This is what you have, this is what we'll do, and you'll be better shortly."

You know, I'm almost at a point where it would be enough to just know, you know? Even if there's nothing that they can do. Just to know what's actually going wrong. Put a name to it. Identify the enemy, so to speak. Yeah, that'd be nice.

Realistically speaking, I probably have weeks if not months of waiting time, treatments or medications that don't help, tests that show nothing wrong. I'm not sure that I can go through all that again.

That's why I've waited so long to go back. If it hadn't been for Sarah making me promise to go back when we could afford it, I probably still wouldn't go.It's like when I had the knee problem. I went to a specialist. He said, "Do some exercises, it'll get better." I did, and it kind of did. But he never could tell me what the problem was. Why pay all that money for someone to tell me to exercise? I could call my mom, and she'd tell me to do that for free.

I wish I could go to Dr. House. Granted, he'd probably be mean and sarcastic, but at least he'd figure it out. If only all doctors were mad geniuses...

On the Brink

2007-09-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 7:1
"Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God."

I've been stuck on this verse for quite some time. Not because it's so juicy and I'm picking every ounce of meat off the bone. Mainly, because I haven't really wanted to think about the implications of this verse, and the application of it to my life.

Let it be sufficient to say that I have not kept in mind these promises. I have not made an attempt to purify myself from everything that contaminates body and soul. And I surely haven't been perfecting holiness out of reverernce for God.

I could go into the background of what these promises are, but I know what they are, and if you who are reading this do not, I recommend you look it up for yourselves. I do not intend for this post to be an indepth bible study. It's a confession.

I remember the first day this verse caught my eye. I was training in Grapevine and I decided I'd have some quiet time...finally. As I read this verse, you know, I went along, and I asked questions. I really wanted to get into it, but then, when it came to the end, I had to stop. I asked: What things contaminate my body and soul? You know, like specifically for me. And I didn't want to think about it. Thinking about it would require me to maybe change some things. So, I stopped. And I really haven't had any decent quiet time since then. Nor before then for quite some time.

Where am I in the grand scheme of things? I look at this verse, and one not to far from it.
2 Corinthians 5:14-15
"14For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again."

And also Romans 12:1
"1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship."

I keep thinking how I've been living to please myself lately. I haven't given much thought to what would please God in quite some time. Ask me when the last time I've had a meaningful conversation with the Lord, or when was the last time I read the Bible and actually applied what I read to my life, and I'd be hard pressed to tell you.

What happened to me? What made me go off track? Little things. Resenting time that I "should" have for myself. Continuing to drink coffee when I more than a little sure He asked me to lay that Isaac down. You know...not that drinking coffee in and of itself is sinful, but just a test, to see what I loved more. Once I felt I was obligated to drink what I wanted when I wanted, thank you very much, I decided that it'd be okay if I listened to different music from time to time. I was getting tired of all that preachy worship stuff. Surely listening to a little Jack FM wasn't sinful, right? And then, gosh, I really like to read fantasy and sci-fi novels even though some of them have their main characters in morally compromising situations, and that have language that is definitely not edifying nor pleasing to the Lord. What next? Feeling as if I had the right to watch what I want? A little language never hurt anyone, right? I mean, as long as I don't use it, it's cool, huh?

And where do I stand now? Knowing that if I do not address these issues, I am not likely to advance in faith. Knowing full well that until I sacrifice these idols and turn back to my first love that I will not be practicing holiness out of reverence to the Lord. Will I change? Will I let the Lord woo me back into His loving embrace? Only time will tell.

And what about remembering what Christ did? I'm obviously not remembering that or I'd be doing the right thing, right? Do I have a reverence for God, or am I beginning to view Him as an inconvenience to the way I'd like to live?

There so much more that I could talk about. But I don't have time.

But is there anyone really listening anyway?

I DID IT!

2007-08-01T17:44:00.000-07:00

I passed my Life and Health Licensing Exam.

I made an 80.

I'm on my way to being a Personal Banker.
Wow

I can't tell you the amount of stress that has lifted off my shoulders. I was really concerned I wasn't going to pass it. But I did. Another hurdle cleared on my way to doing something much different than a teller. I'll be an officer of the bank. Crazy. Not only while I have to learn to do the rudimentary parts of my job (which I have been to training for already) but I've got to learn the paperwork, operational stuff. Blah.

But I've done it. I'm on my way. I know that's repeating what I've already said...but I'm very happy that it's done.

Wish me luck.

So I've Been Thinking

2007-07-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

It seems as if every so often I get in what I call my pensive moods. I don't know if it's a every few months or once a year thing. I don't know if it's just a certain time of year, or if it's like my "cycle", know what I mean?

But I get in these moods. Reflective moods. When I think about my past, my present, my future. Times when I'm more inclined to write thoughtful things. Times when I want to write a poem that will change the way people think, and yet, am unable to put my mood into words. Like I'm still trying to find my voice.

And now, I'm in one of those kind of phases. I miss the days when I used to spend all night talking with my friends about the things that mattered to us. Don't get me wrong. Sarah and I actually do that quite a bit. But I miss that male camaraderie.

I wonder how long it has been since I've had a really close male friend. Someone that I really let in, you know? This may be a surprise to some of you, but I have a tendency to keep people at arm's length. Oh I talk about what's on my mind...but not the deep things. The things that scare me, or the things I think would scare others. I haven't been very forthcoming with any guy friend in quite some time.

Why? Is it just that I haven't felt like there was anyone I could trust? Did I feel like I had to be someone else...someone important or all together? I just wish I could find a friend who shared similar interests that I could really talk to...someone I could be me around, and not Josh the mature fellow. Not Josh, the therapist. I wish I had someone I could lean on.

There are people I can talk to, people I could share my feelings with. But what would be cool is to have someone who would listen, and not give me a lecture. Well...not give me a lecture that felt like a lecture, you know? Someone who would talk to me as a friend, being honest, but not intimidating.

I'm whining. So it's time to tie it up. Put it back in the bag.

But hey...if the person I need to talk to is reading this: HELP. Please?

The Switch

2007-06-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

I just did one of the saddest things I ever have had to do.

Okay, so that's not entirely true. But it was pretty sad.

I just moved contacts from one email address to another.

That may not sound so sad to you, but you're not getting the full picture.

Some of the contacts didn't make it.

I know, I know...never leave a man behind and all that. But that's just what I did. I left some behind.

Why?

I felt like it was better to pick the few that I may actually email once in awhile instead of saving all of the random addresses I've picked up over the years. The thing is, some of the contacts I didn't add to my new account are people I know. People I have loved. People who have meant the world to me.

People I would probably never email again.

I just wouldn't. I never emailed them really anyway.

See, if everyone just read my blog. *sigh*

It may sound shallow, but really, what was I going to do with all those contacts? And seeing as how I would have had to manually switch everyone of them...it wouldn't have been worth the effort to shift them all over.

But I did compromise. I sent most of them an email giving my new address and information.
See...now the ball's in my court. If they don't email me saying that they got my new address, or wish me luck on the move...well then...

They probably didn't want to keep in contact with me anyway. Right?

And so that's what I'm telling myself.

I still have time. I haven't deleted the old account yet. (Getting rid of Juno since we aren't using that for internet anymore, and I'd, like, have to pay for email. Yuck!) So maybe I'll change my mind and add a few more. But I doubt it.

'Cause that's they way the cookie crumbles.

Maintaining a Balanced Diet

2007-06-14T20:16:00.000-07:00

I've forgotten what it was like to have to study for a test. It's not a whole lot of fun. And it's pretty time consuming. When you work full-time and have a family, it's even harder to find the time to squeeze it in.

Why am I studying? I am attempting to get licensed for Texas Life and Health Insurance. Once I get my license, I will start training for the Personal Banker position. That's right...I've been given the go ahead by the higher ups. I have the job, for all intents and purposes, as long as I pass my licensing test.

I'm very excited about the new position. It will be a new challenge. I'll have more one on one customer interaction. I'll have a higher base salary, with the potential of earning much more through commissions and reaching my sales goals. And...I'll have an office. (For some reason, I think this is one of the coolest things...silly, huh?)

What's this have to do with maintaining a balanced diet?

It would be so easy to study every free chance I have. The sooner I'm ready to take the test and pass it, the sooner I get into the position. But I need to make sure I make time for the Word. So far, I have been. I've committed to studying a chapter a day from my insurance work book. I need to be just as devoted to my study of the Word, something I have neglected as of late.

I actually had a really good study on Ephesians 5:22-27 yesterday. When I get a chance, I'll try to post it here.

Church Shopping

2007-06-11T20:46:00.000-07:00

I never knew finding a new church would be so hard. We keep finding different places and going, "Gee, if we could just combine the teaching of here with the worship of there, and the preschool of this place with the heart for ministry with this place, we'd be set."

We've been the last few Sundays to Denton Bible Church. And this is mainly due to the fact that I know the teaching is solid, the preschool section rocks. Jack LOVES going to class. The songs are nice, but there just isn't that spirit of worship that we crave. So, if anyone reading this can suggest a good church in Denton...please feel free to tell us.

News On the Move

2007-05-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

If you want to know what's been going on....click on the link.

http://crazycampbells.blogspot.com/

Reminders

2007-04-06T09:17:00.000-07:00

I went to a Life Group on Wednesday night. We were talking about trials and what they mean, how we survive them, and all of that stuff. One of the verses we covered was 2 Peter 1:3-9.

"3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."

The part that really snagged my attention was the last bit. I know that lately I haven't been making every effort to increase these. I feel like I have been being ineffective and unproductive.
So, according to verse nine, I've nearsighted, blind, and I've forgotten about Christ's sacrifice. Wow.

I mean, that's pretty hard-core, but it's true. Whenever we neglect or forget or get too busy or caught up in our lives to bother to try to add these things to our faith, we've forgotten what our Lord and Savior did for us. I guess Easter is as good a time as any to be reminded.

One of the reasons I'm thankful for moving up here is a potential revitalization of my relationship with the Lord. I've been struggling, you know? Been fighting with the Lord about "Me Time." My lunch breaks in College Stations have largely been time spent goofing off, reading comic books at Hastings or surfing the Web at the library or reading books not edifying to my walk with the Lord. Here in Decatur, there is no Hastings, no comic book shops. There's a library, but for the time being, I bet I'm not eligible for a card. So I have to actually slow down and take a minute to meet with my Lord. After all, what else can I do?

I think God brought me up here to slow me down. To take me away from distractions. Granted, part of the time I've been house hunting. But that search has been largely fruitless so far. So God has been teaching me some things:

Humility-
He humbled me the other night when He reminded me that I haven't been remembering Him. When I confessed this and vowed to do better, He talked to me about some other pride issues I was having. One was this blog. I think part of the reason I start to blog is so someone will post about how clever or smart or even how insightfully spiritual I am. As you can see, I don't get many comments. Maybe that's because nobody's reading. Maybe it's because God's trying to say, "Hey, guess what? Life isn't about you. It's supposed to be about me."

And also He humbled me in another area. I briefly wondered how long it would take me to become a leader of one of these Life Groups if we were to join this particular church. God showed me I might have moved up to quickly in leadership at Living Hope. It was still too much about me, and not so much about Him. "Look at me, I can lead a Hope Group. Aren't I an amazing teacher?" Except I'm not so amazing. Watching this fellow lead at the Life Group, I realized how far I needed to go. This guy used his pastor's notes, asked the pastor's questions. And there was a great discussion. I was edified. It wasn't about dissecting the Word. It was about how can we use the Word to be closer to Christ, to be conformed in His image.

I think about how I was bound and determined not to use Butch's notes. Not because they weren't good, but because I thought it would be better to strike out on my own. I rationalized that we were using the Bible, so it didn't matter. And that's not poor logic. But what's wrong with revisiting the sermon, striving to apply it even more to our lives? Why didn't I study the sermon on my own even? I surely would have grown more, I think, had I done that.

And He reminded me that I hadn't done a good job being transparent. Sure I said I'd struggled to my brothers and sisters, but I don't think I really shared to what extent. I was too busy being "super leader guy." I had to be strong, not admit that maybe I wasn't ready for the mantle. Let's face it. I got saved in '02. I'm a five year old Christian. I may not be a baby anymore, but I'm surely not old enough yet. God had to show me that when I was ready to listen. So He's taken us away where we can start over. Because I couldn't admit to our church family that I wasn't ready. I was too prideful. So...any of you Living Hopers that read this:
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for being self-sufficient. I'm sorry for breaking my covenant with you by not being faithful in my quiet time, faithful in my pursuit to grow closer to the Lord. I'm sorry for being rebellious and not confessing sin to you. I'm sorry for being a poor example, a sloppy leader, and an overall knucklehead. Please find it in your hearts to forgive me.

Patience and dependence-
This whole home hunting thing has been driving me nuts. I want my family up here soon. And I want to know how it's going to work out. God is showing me that I need to rely on Him and I need to quit trying to figure it out. He has moved us up here. He already has a place in mind. I just need to remain actively seeking out where, but also I need to leave it in His hands and not be anxious about where it's going to be and when it's going to come about. The time I've been spending fretting over I should have been meeting with Him, seeking His counsel and His wisdom and His peace.

Thank You, Lord, for the reminders. Thank You for Your love, and Your patience with me.

Thank You Lord, for Easter, what it signifies. Without it, none of what You have been showing me would be possible at all.
JC

Barnes and Nobles by Way of Bedford and Baristas

2007-04-04T09:15:00.000-07:00

Last night I decided I'd go hang out at Barnes and Nobles after I got off work. No problem, right? I mean, Sarah had given me pretty good directions after all. Armed with these, I left Sue's house a little after eight feeling sure within 15 minutes I'd be comfortably perusing books of all kinds. Boy, was I wrong.

Things were going pretty well at first. I had got onto Glenview like Sarah had told me. I was headed for what she said was either Grapevine Highway or Highway 26. Well, I passed a street called Boulevard 26, and I thought to myself, "This could be it." However, since I wasn't sure, I continued onward with the idea that if I didn't run into the right road soon, I would turn back. I didn't do that.

I actually found the mall. I stopped off at Sears and picked me up a much needed beard trimmer. Then, I figured since I went under 820 to get to the mall, I'd just stay on the frontage road, and it would take me back toward where the Barnes and Nobles was, since Sarah had said that I would be going under 820 to get to it.

Now, back in College Station, this mentality would be suitable. If you ride along 6, you will eventually get to the street exit that you need. This way of thinking proved to be my undoing. Little did I realize that when I had went under 820, I had also went under 121. It was this road that I rode alongside.

I drove along for awhile, then a little longer, and a little while longer, and I began to wonder why I hadn't started to at least see exits for streets that I recognized. I had seen a couple of "Now Entering" city signs, but I figured since I was on the other side of a highway in the Fort Worth area, that this was normal. It wasn't until I saw a sign for an exit leading towards the D/FW airport that I realized I had made a serious blunder. Now, for those of you who may know the Dallas/Ft Worth area, you may have been encouraged by such a recognizable landmark. I, however, have no idea where the airport is in conjuction with where I wanted to be. I had no map. I had no idea how to even get back to 820. (I had seen signs on the frontage road saying essentially "This way to 121." I thought that it was just one of those things when highways get called different names because they merge for awhile. Like 287 and 81, for example. In my defense, I did think it odd that I didn't see any 820 signs.)

So what did I do? I did what any self respecting coffee drinker would do. I stopped off at Starbucks to ask for directions. This is the transcript of that encounter.

Barista: "Hi, how are you?"
Me: "Great, thanks."
Barista: "How can I help you?"
Me: "Well, I'm the guy you're going to laugh at later. I'm lost. Can I get a tall order of directions, no whip cream?"

When I asked him where I was, he looked at me somewhat blankly, (I imagine he was trying not to laugh) and said,
"Bedford."
Well, that didn't tell me much, but I didn't want to press my luck so I didn't ask, "And where is that, exactly?"

I was still actually pretty fortunate. The barista lived in Haltom City, so he was able to direct me back in that direction. However....

See, I usually have this impeccable sense of direction. You know, east from west, north from south. Well. I got a little confused on the way back. I got to 820 just fine. I even found a street that I recognized. I took that exit, still determined to find Barnes and Nobles. I figured I would just take Rufe Snow back to Glenview, and I'd head back toward Boulevard 26. No problem. Except that I should have gone back over 820, but instead turned right at the exit. In my defense, I argued that I got into this mess by going under 820...when I got on to 121 which took me to 380, I went under it. So...in my mind, going over 820 would put me going in the wrong dirrection from Glenview. I was wrong.

A few miles down the road, I figured I should have hit Glenview by now. So I pick up the cell and call Sarah.
"Does Rufe Snow intersect with Bear Creek BEFORE it hits Glenview, or am I going in the wrong direction?"

"Where are you?"

"I wish I knew."

Needless to say, I turned around, went all the way back to 380, crossed it, and found my way to Glenview. It was about 9:45. I decided I would find Barnes and Nobles if it killed me.

I got to Boulevard 26, I went under 820 and I saw the Office Depot, just like Sarah said I would. I became excited. I turned right, just like she said. I kept going down this street looking for Barnes and Nobles on the left. I passed all kinds of cool stuff, but I didn't see the Barnes and Nobles. Finally, I crossed under a couple of roads. Know what they were? 820 and 121. AAAAAAHHHH! There was the mall where I had taken the wrong turn an hour or so ago. Was I stuck in the twilight zone? This time, I followed the impulse I should have followed to begin with. I turned back around and went the way I had come. I called Sarah.

"Was I supposed to turn left or right in front of the Office Depot?"

"Where are you?"

"I see a Bennigans, but no Barnes and Nobles."

"You are on the right street. Barnes and Nobles is across from Bennigans."

Okay...except I didn't see it. I passed by this shopping center on the right, but I couldn't make out any of the stores. I turned around, still on the phone...

"I don't see the Barnes and Nobles."

"It's in the shopping center."

"Is it hidden?"

"Oh yeah. Did I forget to mention that?"

Five minutes later I was inhaling the delightful aroma of books and coffee. Barnes and Nobles. Almost Heaven. If I would have heard a Hallelujah chorus, and seen a bright light, I might not have been surprised. I may not have ever been to this particular store before, but I sure felt at home.

So, it took me almost two hours to get there. How long did it take me to get home? Fifteen minutes, because I went back exactly the way that I came. Thank God for good directions. :)

Decatur Day Two

2007-04-03T14:33:00.000-07:00

Who would have thought that I'd be able to blog at work? Apparently this branch has internet access. Some sites we can't access, like my juno account. But I can read blogs and I can post blogs. Yippee!

So things are going pretty well. I like the people I work with. I don't know if they are all believers, but they are all pretty much church-goers. Some are actually pretty active. Finding a church here may not be that hard after all.

The branch is pretty low-key. Not nearly as busy as College Station. If you need an example of low-key, I just had a lady come in with some rolled coin. At my old branc, we'd either have to run it through the coin machine, or hand count it. There is no coin machine here, so I asked if I needed to count it. They said, "Nope, if it's rolled, it's good." I said, "What if they're short?" 'It'll come out in the wash, " was the response. See what I mean?

The customers are primarly down home country folk, which is just fine by me.

The view is beautiful. One of the things I was concerned about with the move was whether or not I'd like the area. Not the people, or the town, but the environment. And it's gorgeous. From the parking lot of the branch, I see the rolling hills dotted with trees. It isn't a flat, non-tree prairie land. Praise the Lord!!!

Speaking of praising the Lord, we sold our trailer. We haven't worked out the details yet, so I'm not saying any more than that, but still...that's half our battle right there. Now we just have to find a place to live. That's a big battle, so prayers are coveted.

All in all...it's going to be a good thing, moving up here. I've already seen opportunities to minister. I don't know how those will play out yet, but I know they are there.

That's all for now. I could ramble, but why would you want to read ramblings?

Adios College Station

2007-03-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

My last day at College Station has passed. In a few minutes, I'm getting ready to pack up and leave for Fort Worth. On Monday, I start at the new branch. Crazy.

We still haven't sold the trailer, or arranged to move it. We don't have a place to put if we did. We don't have a place nailed down if we sell it. That's all in the Lord's hands right now. Thanks be to Him that His hands are big enough to hold it.

Am I sad? Not as much as I had anticipated. I keep trying to conjure up those..."So I'm leaving College Station" feelings, but so far...I'm just excited. It's an adventure. I can't say I'm stoked about the no place yet to live part, but since we get to stay with Sarah's mom...well, I don't have to sweat that too much.

So...goodbye College Station. It's been a great nine and a half years.

Division is Subtraction

2007-03-20T10:41:00.000-07:00

A co-worker asked me not long ago why there are so many denominations in Christianity. I thought about it for a moment and answered, basically, that they were divided upon certain theological arguments. I'm no expert on the different denominations here in America, so that was the best answer I could give him. I mean, aside from a few that preach false gospels, the rest believe pretty much the same thing. Don't they? I know that there are a couple that claim that they are the "true" Church, and all others are pretenders. It's also my understanding that these few are also the ones that teach falsely. But if that's the case, I still have to wonder about the rest of them.

I got to reading in 1 Corinthians today. And I've read this passage before, and thought pretty much the same thing. So I guess I'm throwing it out here and see if I can get any body else's view on it.

1 Corinthians 1:10-13 says, "I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. My brothers, some from Chloe's household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. What I mean is this: One of you says, 'I follow Paul; another, 'I follow Apollos'; another, 'I follow Cephas (or Peter)'; still another, 'I will follow Christ.' Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized into the name of Paul? "

See, normally when I hear division mentioned, and I think of fighting amongst believers, I tend to think of bickering and quarrelling that family members often do. You know, squabbling over trivial things, being mad and not getting over it, etc. etc. But in this case, Paul says that the division is coming about over who they were following. Right? Is that what happens today? I mean Lutherans are named after Luther, Methodists are followers of John Wesley. Some folks are Calvenists, some folks are not.

These guys were all great men, just like Paul, Peter, and the other apostles were. But if first century believers were exhorted not to claim to be followers of men, why do we do it today? No doubt that Wesley, Luther, and Calvin were great theologians. I guess I don't understand all that much how they differed. Didn't they all agree that it was Christ who was crucified for us? That He is the only way to be reconciled with God? That it is only through a faith relationship with Him that we can be saved?

And now we have denominations. Makes me think of math. All of the true denominations should have a common denominator, Christ, right? But what the world sees is a bunch of different people arguing over who is right. They see that we can't agree with one another and be united in like mind. To me, that's a huge subtraction to our witness in this world.

I should be doing something Constructive

2007-03-17T09:56:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here at the computer while my son naps and my wife, daughter, and mother-in-law have gone to the store to buy our sleeping child a birthday cake. I should be doing something constructive. I should be either looking for places to live in Decatur, or I should be using one of my God given talents and writing something that may actually make some money some day. But what am I doing? I keep playing this stupid rogue game that I can't ever get anywhere on. It's a complete waste of my time. Why is it lately that things that are, if not a complete waste of time, at the very least not at all good stewardship of time, are the things that I attempt to consume most of my time?

You know, I could even be using this time for quiet time. Imagine that. I console myself with the fact that I'm at listening to Christian music right now.

But the truth is, I don't even feel like playing my stupid game right now. See, I'm blogging instead. I just feel so...blah...for want of a better expression. I've been sick, which is still really no excuse.

And now I'm wasting even more time, because I'm not saying anything relevant or important or even spiritual. Not that anyone ever really reads what I have here. Heh. That was a self pity remark if I ever heard one. And I'll leave it. Why? Well...aren't I supposed to be honest here?

So I don't have anything else to say. A bunch of random things are clanging around in my head, but I think I'm going to go to Crosswalk.com and at least make an attempt to add something worthwhile to my day.

Moving On

2007-03-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving. On a midnight train to...Decatur.

Okay...so it isn't exactly a midnight train, but we are leaving pretty quick. March 30 is my last day at the branch I work at now. April 2 is my first day at the branch in Decatur.
Why am leaving? Why am I going to Decatur? ("Where's that?" some of you may ask.)
I'm not getting a promotion, and I will probably not see an increase in pay. I will remain a teller for Citibank. So why am I leaving? Why am I uprooting my family and leaving a wonderful church to go to Decatur, TX of all places?

Family. My mother lives in Oklahoma City. My sister lives in Pampa. (Another "where's that?" I'm sure. It's in the Texas Panhandle...currently an over eight hour drive.) Sarah's mom lives in Fort Worth, three of her sisters live in the Mansfield area. When we move to Decatur, we will live a little less than three hours from my mom, four hours from my sister, and around 45 minutes to an hour and a half away from Sarah's side.

We see Sarah's family somewhat often...not near as often as we like, but definitely more often than we see my side. We're lucky if we see my family twice a year. That's just not acceptable. I hate that it's like this big production every time we leave, or they leave. I hate that we have completely rearrange our schedules, ask days off of work, just to go see my family. My kids need their grandparents. And more importantly, they need us.

Sarah's big question was: How are we able to minister to our family from here? Phone calls once or twice a week just isn't enough. About a year and a half ago, my stepdad had surgery to have his hip replaced. No big deal normally. But there was a point where he'd lost a lot of blood, and it was touch and go for a bit. I couldn't go because we lived so far away. My mom's getting older, so is Dave. Sarah's sister Becky is about to have another baby. Sarah's mom has had surgery recently...We need to be closer.

Am I sad? I mean...I lived in this area for almost 10 years now. Moved down here January of 98. We have an awesome church family, great friends. I'm established. I can't go to the store now without running into someone I know. And College Station isn't huge...but Decatur is itty-bitty.

I don't know how I feel right now. Part of me is relieved in some sense. I do like change. We have been way busy as of late, and it may be nice not to have a zillion things to do every week.
But I am probably sad. I love this town. I love the trees. I love the smell when you drive into the area after being up in the Panhandle. It just smells green here. I love the people that have come into our lives. I love the people who have been family to us here, the people my children love almost as much as they love us. I love our pastor. I love the men and women I've gotten to serve with. I love the concept of Hope Groups and what a blessing they have been to us over the years.

My eyes water up saying this. I hope it's all worth it. Sarah has always felt like we weren't meant to live her indefinitely...well, obviously, but you know what I mean. Like, Living Hope was just a training ground...I don't know. As long as we can find people as full of love as the people we go to church with now, who love Christ, and live by His Word, we'll be alright. Everything else is pretty much secondary.

Screenplay

2007-01-23T19:46:00.000-08:00

I know. I know. I haven't posted in awhile. Shame on me. Well, I'm trying to get into the habit of writing regularly, so maybe that will get me in the mood to post regularly. I have actually been doing some studying on Seeking God which I may put on here. But that's a subject for another day.

Today, I am telling you all that I am aspiring to be a screenwriter. And I have four pages under my belt so far in two days of writing. I've had an excellent idea for quite some time, but I was never sure how to go about writing it. Now, I've read some in a couple of books on how to get amatuer folks like me started on this stuff. One of the books recommend that a person should get on a writing schedule. One screenwriter, (a professional one, might I add) gets by writing two pages a day. The thing is, the average screenplay is anywhere between 80 to 120 pages long, with each page averaging about a minute worth of film. See how that works? And, if I keep on schedule, continously writing two pages a day, then I'll be done with my first draft in a couple of months. Sounds pretty cool, huh?

So pray for me. Pray that I'll follow through. That I won't get bored, stuck, or discouraged. I need to finish this project. If I don't, I may lose confidence in my ability to do it. And this story NEEDS to be told.

Want to know more about it? Well, you'll have to wait. That means I need you to keep encouraging me to finish so you can read it. Fair enough?

Alright...enough blogging for now.
Keep the faith, and keep traveling.

Oranges and Pearls

2006-10-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

I’ve recently made a discovery. I often approach life much like I approach oranges. Sounds a little odd, doesn’t it? Let me explain. You see, I like oranges. I’d even go so far as to say it’s one of my five favorite fruits. And yet, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve passed up eating one more often that I’ve actually indulged.
Why? I mean that’s the question, isn’t it? As I said, it isn’t as if I dislike them. It’s often hard to beat the sticky sweetness of an orange. I love its flavor! The texture doesn’t bother me. I don’t even really mind how messy they can be. Man, I even love the way they smell. So why, if I’m so fond of oranges, am I so often reluctant to eat them?
Here’s the answer. I hate peeling them. No really, I do. Hate. It. Seems to me like it shouldn’t be so hard to unpack something you want to eat. So why do I hate to peel oranges? It takes so long. And it’s not like it’s easy to get a good peel going. Most of the time you have to take off piece by itty-bitty piece. And have you ever tried to eat one without peeling it? If not, don’t try. It’s disgusting. Ruins the whole experience.
Now, I know there are other fruits, such as the pineapple or the coconut, that are almost impossible to eat without the help of a very sharp object. I mean, there’s no way you could open one of them with just your fingers. (Although once, while watching Animal Planet, I saw a dog crack open a coconut with his teeth.) Sure, you can cut an orange into neat little sections with a knife, and eat the pulp off the rind. Like you would with a watermelon or a cantaloupe. It’s just not the same. Besides, I can’t get all the fruit when I eat it that way. Have you ever noticed that? You don’t get to enjoy the whole orange. No, God designed oranges to be peeled before eating. Probably so people like me can learn life lessons from it.
So you see now, right? I look at an orange, and though I would really love to eat one, it just seems like so much work. There have been times when I’ve been hungry, not “starving” hungry mind you, just “gee, I’d really like a snack right now” hungry, and have picked up an orange. I’d give it a once over, imagined how good it would taste, and then put it back down, choosing not to eat at all rather than put in the effort to skin a stupid orange.
How does this relate to my other everyday affairs? My struggle with the orange peeling process reveals an ugly character flaw that is evident in other areas of my life. I’m lazy. That’s the plain and simple truth. I’m not always lazy, and not even in everything that counts. But it’s true, nonetheless. To be honest, I’ve known this for quite awhile, but I didn’t fully understand how insidiously laziness had invaded my life until the other day.
I was on my lunch break. My lovely wife, whom God has so graciously provided me, had packed that morning a sandwich and an orange for me to eat. Finances have been a little tight, so that was it. Granted, this little meal would’ve been ample enough food to tide me over until dinnertime. After I finished my sandwich, I sat there for a moment looking at my orange, knowing I was still a little hungry. But I set the orange aside, hoping I’d be able to mooch food off of one of my co-workers later in the day, and began my ritualistic lunchtime Bible study.
God was nice. He let me read for a little bit before He convicted me. I even remember getting a little bit from what I’d read. Then, I started to think about that orange again. There it was, sitting on the table, looking oh so almost edible wrapped up in the package I seemed so determined not to free it from. “Why?” whispered a still small voice, “Why don’t you want to peel it? Don’t you want to eat it? Aren’t you still hungry?” So my conversation with God began.
Having you ever tried to argue something trivial with God? I don’t recommend it. He wins pretty much every time. It’s that sometimes irritating trait of His. You know, always being right. Because He is, you know? Always right. But I tried to show Him my logic anyway. “It just takes so long, you know,” I whined to Him in my head.
I said a few other things to Him, mostly what I’ve already pointed out to you. He wasn’t having it. He was patient, let me go through my spiel and everything. And then, in a very gentle, yet very firm way, He told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was being lazy. I could give as many reasons as I wanted. But essentially, that’s what it boiled down to. Do you know what else? It wasn’t the first time He’s told me this either.
A few months ago, I was enjoying a particularly good worship service when He decided to take me in a completely different direction. I mean I was having a good time, singing my heart out with my eyes closed and all of that. God picked that moment to remind me that procrastination is just another form of laziness. Talk about coming out of left field! The sermon hadn’t touched on that subject at all! It was weird! I remember breaking stride and thinking, “What’s that have to do with anything?” I sensed a little gentle throat clearing. “Laziness is a sin you know.” “Oh. Yeah it is, huh?” “Isn’t it time you started working on it?”
After the service ended, I told people about what God had showed me that day. I had even vowed to work on it, to strive to stop procrastinating. I haven’t really made much headway. So God, in His infinite wisdom, decided to use an orange to remind me where I stand. He even took it a step further. You see, most of the time, people put off things they don’t want to do. I procrastinate chores and honey-dos all the time. That’s what God showed me during the service. But what God showed me with the orange is this: I’m pretty lazy about things I kind of like as well.
For instance, I want to write. I’ve told people over and over again how much I would like to be a writer, how I’m full of all these great story ideas. I get inspired to write little essays like this one all the time, but I hardly ever follow through. Mostly, I give excuses like, “I don’t have a lot of time to write.” Or “I’m not really sure I know how to write” or “I’m not sure I’m that good of a writer” or “I don’t know really how to start.”
The truth is that I’m too lazy to give it a go most of the time. Which is crazy! I really do like to write. It’s actually the way I believe I express myself best. Talking to people just provides them an opportunity to interrupt, but with writing, I can just bombard them with as many words as I see fit. Doesn’t necessarily mean people read them all, but at least I can say all that I have to say.
Another area in which I often display my lazy streak is with the Lord. I love Him, you know? I do. I realize that without Jesus, I’m lost. I know He’s the only way I can be right with God. We have a relationship. I’m just not very good at maintaining my end of it. I want to get to know Him more. I want to enjoy His presence. But I don’t ever seem to make time for it. He showed me this reality with the orange.
I frequently make excuses for the lack of time I spend with Jesus. Prayer is one of the areas in which I have the least amount of discipline. I pray, don’t get me wrong. But I don’t start out my days with Him. I don’t spend a lot of quality time with Jesus. I read the Bible just about every day. But I don’t always talk to Him about what I’ve read. I don’t hang out with Him as much as I should. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying He requires we meet with Him daily. As if I have to fill a quota of Jesus time, or He won’t love me anymore, or that I’ll all the sudden lose the free gift He’s given me. Jesus is not an Indian-giver. His love doesn’t depend upon mine.
I’m beginning to see most of my excuses don’t really hold water. Especially when you hold them up to the Lord God Most High. They all look pretty flimsy when exposed in His light. And so I’m forced to examine this question. If I love Him, if I want to get to know Him more, why don’t I make time for Him? My wife has told me on a few occasions that if we truly love something, if we truly desire to do something, if something is truly important to us, we change our priorities for it. But I’m lazy, and I don’t always love Him enough to put forth the effort it takes to quit being so selfish.
I’m impatient. I want a relationship with God. I want to know Him better, but I don’t want to take the time to peel through the things in my life that get in the way. I just sit there sometimes wishing there was easier way to get to Him, to get to the meat. You know? Like I want my own personal peeler, so I can just sit back and enjoy the fruit of my labor, without the labor.
As I sit here and contemplate the oranges of my life, I’m reminded of a story. Ever heard the Parable of the Pearl of Great Price? It talks about this pearl merchant who goes around looking for beautiful pearls. When he finds one of great value, he sells everything he has to get it. Everything. Wow! Now, I’m not trying to compare an orange or my writing to the Kingdom of Heaven. There is no real comparison. But there’s a general principle involved I’ve been missing. And it is this: If something is of value to you, it’s worth sacrificing other things to have.
So I have to ask these questions. How much do I really like to eat oranges? How bad do I really want to write? Is an intimate relationship with my Lord worth enough to me that I would put more time and energy into deepening it? There are myriad of different questions I could ask about a dozen different scenarios in my life. When am I going to prove that these things are really important to me?By the way, I ate the orange that day. It may not have been a pearl, but it was pretty good. Didn’t even take me that long to peel. And look, I’ve written quite a bit today. I might even take the time to revise some. (I did.) Who knows? Maybe I’m starting a new trend. From an eternal perspective, I sure hope so.

Permanent Vacation

2006-08-03T22:13:00.000-07:00

Today, I got to go play with my family at a local park. There is this Splash Pad located in this particular park. A Splash Pad is basically a place to play in the water, without having to get in a pool. It's actually quite fun.

That's not my point. I got to watch my son play today. He actually played this time! It was so much fun getting to watch him run over and over again through these water mist rings. They were about the only thing he felt comfortable playing in for any length of time.

Anyway, made me wish I didn't have to work. That I could just spend time with my family more. Unfortunately, that can't happen. Grrr. Oh well. That's life.

On Growing Up

2006-08-01T22:33:00.000-07:00

So I am thirty-one as of yesterday. The first question my wife asked was: Do you feel older?
Not really, you know? Although she did find a couple of white hairs on my chest. And how does that make me feel? Truth be told, I don't know.

See, here's the thing. I complain a lot about getting older, but I still don't really feel like a grown-up. I should. I know that I should. And sometimes I guess I do. Depends, I suppose, who I am talking to. I do have a tendency to refer to people more than a couple of years younger to me as "kids." But I still don't feel like an adult. Why?

I bet if I were to get over that, to start feeling grown-up, I might actually start to act like one once in awhile. Sure would help me be a more effective leader in my home. I just don't know if I'm ready to cross that threshold all the way. I guess I figure once both feet on on the ADULT side of the door, there's no going back. Just call me Peter Pan, I guess.

2006-07-17T21:20:00.000-07:00

There are moments in life where you get to catch a glimpse of God's hand at work. We, my family and I, have recently been privy to one such occasion.

You know, I've been going through a season of doubt. Not necessarily faith destroying, going back to your old lifestyle kind of doubts, but just those little ones, that eat away at your joy.
I don't make a lot of money, if one gauges by American standards. In comparison to the majority of the world, I'm rich. In America, we make below the poverty line. What's that tell you about our society?

Anyway, as the man of the house, it's my responsibility to see to it that things get done. (Or so I thought.) We've had some issues come up, some unforeseen, some we should have been prepared for, that have drained us financially. There are things that need to be done that we just haven't had the money for.

Like our air conditioning breaking. They wanted $1,400 in cash up front to fix it. Who has that kind of money lying around? But God provided.

First, He provided through my co-workers, who bought us a window unit. We put that in our babies room on Thursday. On Friday, God provided two more window units. And then, on Saturday, we got a letter in the mail that had money with it. A lot of money.

And see, here I had been crying out to God, wondering how we were going to get all this stuff done. And He showed up. Will the money take care of everything? No. But it's a start. And He has proven, once again, that's He's faithful.

Plus, He's teaching me how to be a good steward of the money He does give us. I'm thankful for that.

There's a lot more I could say, but I'm just going to have to end right now on this.

God is good, all the time. He's always at work around us...even when we can't see what He's doing. Maybe now my eyes will be a little more open to the blessings He bestows.

2006-07-13T20:35:00.000-07:00

God is good!

Let me just tell you...God is good. I mean, just last night I was bemoaning the unfairness of things, and now...He went and did something amazing. Okay, so I still don't have central heat and air, but my co-workers bought my family a window unit. With the help of a good friend, we got it installed this evening. And now at least my babies can sleep in a cooler room.

It was actually pretty cool how it happened. I didn't even see it coming. My boss came back to where I work, asked me to step outside for a moment. I thought I was in trouble! When I stepped outside, I saw that they had purchased me a little cooling unit, and a pool for my kids. It really touched me, you know? I was humbled and grateful all in one fell swoop.
God is good.
I just thought I'd let you know.

2006-07-12T22:16:00.000-07:00

And So It Begins...
I've attempted and aborted so many journals in my life, it's safe to say this one won't last long. Perhaps this is a passing fancy, perhaps not. What makes me think I've got anything worth while to say? Why should I take up any amount of space here in this cybervoid? Do I have anything to offer? Any insights to share?

These are questions I find myself asking as I attempt to begin. Maybe these questions will be answered. Maybe they won't. Maybe others will read it...maybe they won't. What form this blog shall take, I do not know. Will it be a spiritual journey? A blog listing my day to day events? Who knows? I can say that, with me, my day to day events are often tied up in the spiritual.

Like today. Our air conditioning is out. My truck won't start. And we've no money to spare to fix either one. So I sit here, sweating, staying up far too late because it's really too hot to sleep. And I'm wondering...what is God trying to teach me through this?

It's funny really, in it's own way. See, I'm the guy who gets to give folks "spiritual" advice. You know, like reminding folks that they should count it all joy when they encounter trials of all kinds. I tell my friend, who is constantly struggling with God, that he shouldn't be angry at God for not giving him what he wants. And here am I, out some modern conveniences, and I'm wondering what I did to deserve this. You know, like...am I being punished or something? Is God really trying to teach me some sort of perserverance, or is He showing me my blatant lack of faith?
Both?

I don't know. Something you should know. I ask lots of questions, and am often unable to answer them. If that sort of introspective writing strikes your fancy, well, then you've come to the right place. Sometimes, I get insights. Sometimes I just spin my wheels, having no clue about what's going on.

And this is my life. Here I will be honest, or at least as honest as I allow myself to be. Sometimes we even deceive ourselves. And you get to see me muddle through things. Isn't that exciting? Ha!

I welcome your insights, your encouragements, if you have any. If, by some small chance, something I say or am going through resonates with you, let me know. Maybe if I see that my posts are benefiting someone, I'll continue. Instead of worrying about wasting space.

Are you ready for the ride?